I don’t remember much about being 3 years old, but I wonder if I was as stubborn and strong-willed as my son is.

Erica (my wife) and I have had a hard time lately with getting him to listen to ANYTHING. No matter what we say, especially as he gets tired, we are usually met with no response. Then, when we say, “Sam! Do you hear me?!” We get a blank stare as he asks, “Huh?” I find it particularly maddening that right after that, while I repeat what I said, he begins to talk and sing and make silly noises while I’m still talking and makes no attempt to listen the second time.

I don’t like to spank my kids. It’s not that I “don’t believe in that” or anything. I just don’t like to. It hurts them physically (only a little), it hurts their feelings, and it stings me too because I don’t like causing them pain or discomfort in any way. In light of all that, I will do whatever I can to get my point across any other way; talking, explaining, using examples, putting them in time-out, taking toys away, whatever. Sometimes, one of those will at least seem to break through to Sam. But sometimes…

My dad used to say, “If your two ears up top won’t listen, I’ll have to speak to the Third Ear!” I always rolled my eyes and thought that was a stupid thing to call someone’s butt. Your backside can’t hear, I would think, he just likes making stupid jokes or something, whatever. But now that I am a parent? I get it. I’m sorry, dad, for all the times I didn’t listen with my two ears up top, because now I see how INFURIATING it is for your kid to suddenly act like they don’t understand English!

I wonder how often God calls me, talks to me, tells me to do something, tells me again, and then finally just has enough and has to break something in order to get my attention. Well, I don’t wonder, I guess, because like a child, it isn’t that I just don’t hear Dad talking…it’s that I’m not always paying attention. I tend to tune Him out unless I want something or find myself in a crisis. Then, when He doesn’t answer me immediately or in the way I wanted, I get frustrated and wonder why He doesn’t care or why He sits back and doesn’t intervene in my circumstances.

As a father myself, I can just imagine what He says: Oh, son. You are so bright sometimes, and then you go and act like a dummy. Listen to what I am saying! Pay attention to the work I’m doing in you and around you! You are not ready for all that I could be giving you because you can’t even listen to simple instructions.

Then, since I didn’t listen, as if I don’t hear or understand Him, God has to get my attention some other way. We have a “third ear” too, and if you have never been out of the favor of God, let me tell you, I would MUCH rather have a physical spanking. Sometimes God has to break your car or your job or your budget in order to make you listen. Once he gets your attention, the conviction that comes when you realize WHY he had to do all that just makes it even worse. For me, there is guilt and restlessness until I have really repented and come back humbly to where God intended for me to be all along.

I want to do better. I want my son to do better, too. God gives us children, in part, to help us see our own faults, I guess. To basically say, “This is what I am dealing with! Now you know how that feels!”

Having children also shows me the unconditional love of the Father. No matter how frustrating they can be, I would give my life in an instant in order to save them. I care so deeply for them that it really does hurt me more than it hurts them to have to spank them or fuss at them, because I just want them to be good and do good and not have to get in trouble or be corrected. Imagine our relationship if they would just listen. They would never have to feel guilty or ashamed or sorry, and I would never have to be angry or upset or disappointed…

Now turn that thought around, and just imagine what our relationships with God could be…if we would just listen.